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Name: Michelle
Birthday: 3/26/1986
Gender: Female


Interests: Star gazing, cookie eating, computers, anime, video games.... programming (-_-) j/k haha...
Occupation: Student
Industry: Computers (Hardware)


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Member Since: 5/2/2004

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Thursday, December 04, 2008

A new place

Its been a while since I've written anything or have had the desire to.  I am not even sure if anyone reads this anymore either but I am hoping that this entry will help me feel better... so here goes.

I moved from home to the midwest.  Its been about almost 5 months now and its gotten a little bit better than when I first moved here.  It was really hard at first... not because of the climate... or the change in location.. or even really... the people... it was just hard because I missed everyone back home.  It was such a sudden change... a couple months ago I was at home with friends... family... people I knew all around me.  Then all of a sudden no one... Of course I knew it was going to be this way but it never really hit me how much I loved and relied on the people around me until I did not have them with me anymore.  At first I missed the college life.  Just being able to see anyone or everyone because they lived so close to me.  I missed going out with them... talking about random things with them and even just sitting around doing nothing with them. 

I missed my roommates who was always there... I missed my boyfriends roommates too!  I never realized how much I would miss them... but it was really hard to not have them around all the time.  I miss those random dinners I would have with my roommates... where we cooked things that didn't go together and ate it together at our dinner table.  I miss Vy-van music blasting from our room.. and Sam's sudden shouts of pain after bumping into something.  I miss seeing Joel get mad at just about everything.. and during the start of football season I wished that we were still in the apartment... and watching Joel scream at the TV.  I even miss Echo!  Lei misses Echo!  He has been bugging me to get a cat... but in reality I think he just wants Echo. 

It was really hard to adjust especially in the first month.  Every so often when I got the chance to breathe and take in everything around me... I would start to tear up and wish I was back home... wish that I didn't have to grow up.  I cried alot those first few weeks... I still do but not as much.  Despite all the missing and crying... and wishing... I'm still really glad I moved here.  Arg.. but I still miss everyone SO much!  I know half the people I miss I won't probably see anymore...

People around here are really different... and I guess the people around me are a bit older than me too.  But I can't be random or I guess.. really myself at work... so I miss that too... and I haven't been able to find that balance between being myself and being at their maturity level.  All my coworkers are married except two.  I think I am the youngest.. in the group... but by only a year or two.  So its hard to make friends because they all just go home to their husbands/wives.  Then those who aren't married grew up in the area so they already have their set of friends... I also notice... that... being engaged... is umm... necessary? for a relationship to have a future... past just... gf/bf.... I have gotten a few comments here and there about not having a ring on my finger... despite the fact that I have been with Lei for 4 years now.  They kinda assume... I guess.. that something is wrong.... Like... Lei's parents not liking me... Lei not being serious about the relationship... or it being a 4 year fling... I dunno... I guess being married... is the thing to do here... lol... I tried to explain to them that we want to wait.. till we get ourselves figured out and settled... since we just graduated and on our own for the first time... but they didn't seem to understand why.. i still don't have a ring on my finger =P...

So in attempts to meet new people... my friend David(who also came out to work here).. Lei and I decided... to check out local gatherings... so David was invited to a christian gathering thing... which was funny cause lei and david aren't religious... or christian =P... people were nice... one guy (im not quite sure exactly if he was slow.. or had medical issues)... but he kept asking us stereotypical asian questions... like "do you guys eat fish alot?"... "do you eat alot of noodles/rice?"... he also called lei and me... "hello kitty and a tiger" =P... we tried to explain to him that we grew up in the US and we eat watever food everyone else eats... he also made... jokes about... going to a senior citizen home... and selling them coffins? im not sure exactly.. we all decided to stop listening to him at that point...

Then we saw an atheist group gathering... so we went to that... they were a bit more fun to hangout with... I really respected the fact that most of them were really trying to understand a religion by reading their literature and inviting people of that religion to come speak with them about their beliefs... instead of just bashing on religions without really understanding what they stand for or their history... so one girl read the book of mormons just to read it and get an understanding of their beliefs... one day a group of mormons came by to ask if she would like to learn about their religion (they were on their mission)... she agreed and invited a couple of the other atheists in the group to listen to them... so i respect them... but! i did meet a hardcore atheist... that i think if she found out that i was catholic would have kicked me out of her house!  so the atheist group decided to have an election night gathering... it was going pretty well... we were watching the poll counts come in and people were having lots of fun... then all of a sudden the owner of the house.. sneezes.. and someone said "bless you"... she got... i think.. quite offended... because she said "we made this group so I didn't have to hear that crap"... and the guy who said it... "sorry.. old catholic habit"... apparently he became atheist but grew up catholic... i never realized.. the implications of "bless you" until that night... i always just thought of it as a sign of respect... but it just got me kinda... weirded out that she was so offended by it... but i guess....... technically... it was an atheist gathering... =P

so now... im still having issues with making friends.. or finding a group of friends.... i miss being with people that i can be weird with... be random and silly with... say things that don't make sense and be able to laugh instead of criticized for it..  right now the only part that i have left of that is Lei... so technically i am myself... when I am only with him.. i miss being able to always be myself...


Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Its that time of year again ^__^

Yea so its time for my yearly reflection entry hah.  So here goes... 2006!

6 LIFE TURNING EVENTS IN 2006
1.  Love is alot harder than it is set out to be.  Alot of people like to get in your way sometimes and I've learned alot in fighting for what I want.  Our 2 year anniversary was a great day... Its a reminder of all the things we've been through so far.
2.  My 2006 birthday.  I'd have to say it was a great day, but the few weeks before that kind of sucked.  This portion of my year was one of the most dramatic times of my life and I hate to say that its a life turning event that I wish never happened.
3.  The day I moved into my new apartment!  I met 3 new cool, awesome girls and they've taught me alot.  Vy-van (my roomie) loves food as much or maybe even more than I do... She always knows how to cheer people up.  Sam's conversations are one of the best parts of my day... I love talking to her about random things.  And Jo has shown me that hardships will always come your way and the strength of an individual isn't always measured by how much pain you can endure but also by having the courage to open yourself up to someone.
4.  Summer.  During this time I really got to see how important my education was to me.  I started to love to go to class and the things I learned.
5.  When I worked at Payless.  You know you always hear stories of how customers are so mean sometimes and have no disregard to sales associates... Yea I never really knew what that meant till I worked at Payless.  I was yelled at for not knowing Farsi... for following store policy... for looking like a high school kid... for catching a girl stealing (yea.. she got mad at my boss too even though her sister stole shoes)... So since then I've been extra nice to every sales clerk I've encountered.. hah
6.  The day I lost a good friend.

6 HAPPIEST SIMPLE MOMENTS IN 2006
1.  Summer's finals week... haha... Joel, his friend, Lei and I all celebrated.  I don't remember much but I do remember seeing Joel passed out on the hallway floor ^__^.
2.  Halloween sugar party!  I never had so much sugar in one day hah. 
3.  When Sam, Vy-van and I roam around grocery stores looking at food ^__^ hah.  Everything is so much simpler with food haha.
4.  Our trip to Maui... My favorite moment was when we were at the beach.  My sister, mom and I were making a sand castle next to the shoreline.  And when we finished we watched the water fill our moat.
5.  My nice walks/ drives with Kenneth.  He's given me so much laughter this year.  Thank you ^__^.
6.  The most simplest moment is when Joel, Bhavani, Chetan, Lei and I are all gathered in their living room laughing.

6 SADDEST/YUCKIEST/NOT SO GOOD MOMENTS IN 2006
1.  The end of the 2005-2006 school year.  I was disappointed with the grades I got.
2.  The day Lei left for Michigan for the summer.
3.  Whenever I hear bad news from home.
4.  When Rukia died.
5.  Not being able to spend another holiday season with Lei.
6.  The day I left my old apartment.  That day was one of the saddest days in my life.  I remember closing the door for the very last time.  Seeing the rooms so empty and remembered the first day we moved in.  We were all so different then.

6 AWESOME/KOOLEST/FUNNY MEMORIES IN 2006
1.  When Lei took me to Ruth's Cris.
2.  Seeing the Maui sunset.
3.  Meeting Azure and Lazy in person ^__^.
4.  Seeing the nice 3.4 gpa mark on my transcript.
5.  Halloween night ^__^... we all had our crazy sugar highs... I <3 Edwin's Penis hat hahah and Vy-van looked sexy in her Unicef box *wink*
6.  When my engineering professor told us that sniffing markers is a great way to calm your nerves before a test ^__^ haha (jokingly of course duh =P) haha!

6 NEW THINGS DISCOVERED IN 2006
1.  True friendship isn't based on how much you've done together or how much you hang out with them.  Its based on whether or not you're still together at the end of it all. (Yet again have rediscovered it again this year =P).
2.  One night Joel said something like "Its too bad that we won't see each other after all this."  It made me really sad when he said that but it has complete truth behind it.  Knowing that one day we all might not even see or talk to each other anymore, whether its because of distance, fighting, or just moving on with life, its really sad that a friendship will eventually come to a conclusion.  So its better to just make the best of what we all have now!
3.  Discovered a new motivation to succeed in everything I do.  Thank you to all those who have helped me along the way.
4.  Tenderizing beef takes wayyyyyy too long =P.
5.  Never ask a question you're not ready to hear the answer to.  If you ever ask a question and got excessively upset with the answer you received then I think it would have been better if you never asked the question in the first place.
6.  Telling the truth about loving someone is the best gift anyone can ever give themselves.  With all the people I know who were truthful with their relationship, I've noticed that even through all the hardships everything turned out for the best.  We're all starting to get accepted and no longer have to hide each other.  I love not having to hide love ^__^.  So from now on I believe that if you truly love a person, you shouldn't need to hide it.  I agree that love isn't enough but strength as well (in both persons).  It is truly worth it in the end.
_____________________________________________________

7 HOPES FOR 2007
1.  Continue to study hard and do well.
2.  Learn Chinese ^^.
3.  The happiness of my family.
4.  For the friendships I currently have to stay strong while we're still together.  I love everyday we all spend together.
5.  To be a better person.
6.  To continue the love we've found ^__^.
7.  To be a stronger person and learn to fight for what I believe in.

 THINGS I'D LIKE TO CHANGE (not resolutions cause i always break them)
1.  Be more understanding.
2.  Stop being such a lazy bum.
3.  Smile more and not to cry so much.
4.  My sleeping habits.
5.  To better include everyone I know into my daily life.  Sorry Vy-van, Jo and Sam for not always being around.  I will try harder because you guys have grown to be quite important to me.
6.  Reopen myself to new ideas and respect the opinions of others.  Lately I have been quite opinionated and forgot that I might hurt others feelings because everyone is entitled to their own ideas even if I don't exactly agree with them.
7.  To be more thankful for the things I have.

This year has been a short one.  So many things have happened that I can't even remember them all.  I have also learned so much from so many people.  I would like to thank all those who have spent this year with me.  I love you all very much and I hope you have a great new year ^__^!


Just cause I'm bored...

I confess that in 2006 I...

( ) stayed single for the whole year
( ) got your first kiss
( ) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
($) made-out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
($) celebrated Halloween
($) kissed in the rain
($) fell in love
( )HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN.
( ) broke someone else's heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) mooned someone lol
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
( ) dated someone you'll never forget
( ) done something you've regretted
( )lost your true love
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under miseltoe

WORK/SCHOOL

( ) got a promotion
( ) got a pay raise
($) changed jobs
($) waited until one day before to begin a project
( ) lost your job
($) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
( ) took an honors/advanced class
( ) broke the dress code
( ) jacked off/fingered in class
( ) sent to the principles office for misbehavior
( ) got straight A's
($) met one teacher you really like
( ) met one teacher you really hated
( ) failed a class
($) cut class
( ) kicked someone in the testes
( ) skipped school
($) got into a fight with a classmate
($) did something you were proud of
($) discovered a new talent
( ) gave the teachers a reason to teach
($) proved yourself an idiot
( ) embarassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) intentionally tripped someone at school
( ) got lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
($) were involved in something you'll never forget

OTHER

($) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
() ran a mile
( ) seen a live concert
($) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
($) posted a blog on MySpace
($) listened to music you couldn't stand
($) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
($) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
($) threw a surprise party
($) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) flirted shamelessly
( ) didnt wash your hands after using bathroom
( ) visited a foreign country
($) volunteered to help out others
( ) visted a new state
($) told someone you were busy when you werent
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
($) cooked a disasterous meal
( ) drove the car drunk
($) lost something important to you
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) lied about how old you were
($) got a gift you adore
( ) got 'shit faced' on alcohol
( ) took a nude picture of yourself
( ) almost got arrested
( ) prank called someone
( ) saw a college football game in person


Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 4th of July everyone ^^.  Hope you had many fireworks today! =P


Wednesday, June 28, 2006

im soooo bored! haha... joel says find something to do but i have no idea what i want to do! =P  i'm starting to miss lei alot now... i lasted longer last summer without wanting him to come back so soon... but i guess it comes with being bored!  mostly everyone's significant other is with them this summer... and i guess i just wish mine was too... going to the beach by myself isn't much fun... neither is taking a dance class by myself fun either... or staying at my apartment by myself.... or playing WoW when no one is on... kenneth offered to go out a couple times cause hes bored too... but our schedules never allow us to really chill...

arg... school started monday too... all my classes seem to be alright so far but they're just so long!!! i have a class thats from 5 to 9 pm on tues and thurs... at least i know a couple people there to keep myself entertained when i feel like going zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz... hah...

also to my friend JEN ^^, good luck to where ever you are going.... i really miss you!



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